OT: FUN Time

[Supermoto]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up on the center of the bed. It was addressed,"Dad". With the
worst premonition,He opened the envelope & read the letter with
trembling hands:::

Dear Dad, It's with great regret & sorrow that I'm
writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to
avoid a scene with mom & you. I've been finding real passion with Joan &
she is so nice (even with all her piercing, tattoos, & her tight
Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant &
Joan said that we will be very happy...Even though you don't care for
her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the
woods & has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have
many more children with me & that's now one of my dreams too. Joan
taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing
it for us & trading it with her friends for all the cocaine & ecstasy we
want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS
so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15
years old now & I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure
we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren...Your
son, John.PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's
house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life
than my report card, that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call
when it is safe for me to come home.

[schwen_108]

what the he!! ben..?

[zuki]

HAHA..this could come in handy!! LMAO

[Chadm89]

Hahaha, that's funny.

I used to avoid the whole "show your parents the report card" thing by learning how to forge my parents' signatures.

Lucky for me I'm naturally good at stuff like that.

[crfjedi393]

Nice one, Ben. I got a good laugh outta that one.

[schwen_108]

HA HA i get it now!!! HAHA nice one ben!

[BIGEVIL]

Originally Posted by schwen_66

what the he!! ben..?

ditto.....

[schwen_108]

Originally Posted by Supermoto

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up on the center of the bed. It was addressed,"Dad". With the
worst premonition,He opened the envelope & read the letter with
trembling hands:::

Dear Dad, It's with great regret & sorrow that I'm
writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to
avoid a scene with mom & you. I've been finding real passion with Joan &
she is so nice (even with all her piercing, tattoos, & her tight
Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant &
Joan said that we will be very happy...Even though you don't care for
her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the
woods & has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have
many more children with me & that's now one of my dreams too. Joan
taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing
it for us & trading it with her friends for all the cocaine & ecstasy we
want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS
so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15
years old now & I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure
we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren...Your
son, John.PS, Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's
house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life
than my report card, that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call
when it is safe for me to come home.

look at the bold stuff, that's why it's funny

[BIGEVIL]

Oh.....I'm kind of slow

[schwen_108]

we figured that out by now E. lol remember, your dyslexic

[BIGEVIL]

Hahaha

[RICHIE500]

LMAO.......Good stuff!

[Deano249f]

Ha ha ha... Good one Supermoto.
My Dad would kill me if I did that, and my Mom would probably laugh.

Got to say I never thought of that one while I was at school.
Instead, I used to blackmale my older Sister into forging my Moms sig

[HLD]

Originally Posted by Chadm89

Hahaha, that's funny.

I used to avoid the whole "show your parents the report card" thing by learning how to forge my parents' signatures.

Lucky for me I'm naturally good at stuff like that.

Ahh yes, the days of forged report cards. When I went from straight A's to all of a sudden getting a D in math in 8th grade (decided to stop showing up for class) on one report card, I was forced to steal a blank report card, fill it out with the grade I thought I deserved for delivery to mom and dad (I mean, I did A work when I was there...I just wasn't there much) and then forged my parents' sig on the real one.

I got caught somehow...

I'm still not sure how...

But I did...

The next quarter was the longest of my life.

Thanks for the memories?

[valverde]

Maybe we should start a joke thread

An old country preacher had a teen-age son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought along the line of choosing a profession. Like many young men, then and now, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do- and he didn't seem overly concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table these three objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of Tennessee sippin' whiskey... "Now then," the old preacher said to himself, "I'll just hide behind the door here, and when my son comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which of these three objects he picks up. If he picks up the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be o.k. too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a drunkard - a no-good drunkard and Lord, what a shame that would be."

The old man was anxious as he waited, and soon he heard his son's footsteps as he came in the house whistling and headed back to his room. He deposited his books on the bed, as a matter of routine, and as he turned around to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With a curious set ih his eye, he walked over to inspect them. He picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink...

"Lord have mercy," the old man whispered. "He's gonna be a politician!"

[Zim28]

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."



Moral:---- Old men can still think fast

[AaronRider]

OMG SUPERMOTO!!! THAT IS PERFECT!!!!!! I ALWAYS WANTED TO CONVINCE MY PARENTS THAT THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE THAN GRADES!!!! lol ...to bad im out of High School already....now i cant use it

[AaronRider]

Originally Posted by Zim28

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."



Moral:---- Old men can still think fast

OMG! Im gotta use that one sometime....hmmm....time to find a pond

[crfjedi393]

That's a pretty good one, Zim. It got a good chuckle outta me.

[dispatchrider]

Software Upgrade

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. and now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Desperate
********************************************
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package,while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGH! T YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly. WAV files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.
These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech! Support